It is widely and commonly known that Erasmus is a sort of experience that not every student is able to stand up for. We’ve heard some mysterious stories (written in secret student diaries or, more probably, told after three glasses of wine at the parties) that describe life of Students Who Were Going Back Home without a penny in their pockets, with a lost pair of shoes and head full of memories that could beat „The Hangover”.
. . .
Your family does not understand you any more, friends left in homeland think you have forgotten about them, granny asks if you are not missing her cooking, and YOU, yes, YOU are desperately looking for last few months of your life that apparently were lost somewhere between Spritz Aperol, that Italian cute guy with dark, curly hair who cooked for you pasta Carbonara and hitchhiking trip with a friend.
Ladies and gentleman, here come more than 10 reasons why you should not go for Erasmus.
- Even at 7 in the morning you will have to think in foreign language. Especially when you notice that your toothpaste has mysteriously dissappeared third time in this month. Maybe it’s time to talk to Carlos.
- People will make strange look while seeing you preparing scrumble eggs in the morning. Opening windows, discouraging looks or grumpy faces can directly suggest you have mistaken time of breakest with dinner.
- You will be judged for combining piadina with pesto. Not to mention about being kicked out of Italian social life becuase of dish containing pasta with chicken.
- Don’t be surprised if you hear a question “Is it normal in your country???” while having cup of tea to pizza
- You have an unpleasant feeling that apparently you are not getting something.
*After one year of living abroad let me be honest: yes, you aren’t. Accept it, darling. Sooner, better.
- Laughing at jokes of which you’ve understood only first three words will become your new reality. Practice makes perfect, though.
- Oldie, efficient solutions like kebab bar or copy center round the corner that were allowing you to save your precious student time are gone: new reality, babe – time to start everything from scratch.
- You will end up with first stage of depression, because after one week of intensive Sherlock Holmes research you will not find ingredients for the typical home-made salad.
*dear reader, laughing is not accepted, this is #truestory, and if the protagonist of this story is reading this, I am sending him a hug
- Instead of becoming open minded, you will end up believing that tolerance is a myth: when you think that it is time to open vodka, others are already finishing the party.
- You will loose sense of humor when you catch a cold and after seeing the price of medicines comparable with the cost of flight for a weekend trip to Barcelona, you will decide to treat yourself with “tea, honey, lemon” solution. Discouraging looks will show up again.
Finally, you will be back home and while putting your backpack to the parents car you will just whisper “home sweet home”.
Then, home sweet home procedure will start: visiting granny for a dinner (and dessert and re-dinner), getting together with old friends, having a chit chat with the neighbour about last match of local football team.At this point it would seem right to say “and you lived happily ever after” but let me tell something: we skipped number 11…
- After one month at home you will start to feel pain in your chest, unnatural sweating or lachrymation. You will need to sneak to bathroom to cry for a second in privacy, you will watch for a sixth time pics of that infamous home party where you almost succeded in telling a joke in English. Even a home beer will lose it taste.
I regret to inform you that stakes are high you are a next victim of so called Post Erasmus Syndrome.
Haven’t I warned you it will ruin your life?
*This post it wrriten from my, evidently Polish point of view. Yes, we have salty breakfest, we combine chicken with pasta, we drink tea to everything, we use “honey, tea, lemon” as a medicine and yes, all examples come from my or my friends’ experience. Zuzia
** cover & co photos: Zuzia